To return the ex – we all thought about this possibility, but is it worth it? In this article, we have sorted out all the pros and cons, highlighted all the time-tested, psychologists and people advice, as well as made the content so that it is convenient for you to navigate through the article.
List of pros and cons
Top tips to help you get your relationship back
Is his return really necessary?
What can you do to get him back?
What to write to your ex to get him back
What if he has another
How to get a guy back if I left him myself
LIST OF PROS AND CONS
Before you decide whether to return your boyfriend, you should weigh all the reasons why you want to do it, and the reasons why you broke up with the boyfriend. The main questions you should be honest with yourself are:
Is it worth your attention and trying to get it back?
What has he brought into your life?
Are you better off without it?
What mistakes have you made in your relationship?
What led to your breakup?
If you honestly answer the questions, you can understand how to get a person back into your life and if you really need it.
TOP TIPS TO HELP YOU GET YOUR RELATIONSHIP BACK
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
It is your attention to yourself, without looking back at the past, that will help the ex to understand that everything is fine with you – and such a mood will definitely not go unnoticed and he will definitely want to know why everything is fine with you: through acquaintances, mutual friends and photos in social networks.
DON’T EXPECT ACTION FROM HIM
Obvious advice, but rarely used. Do not wait for his calls, do not go to his page, do not put “likes” in the hope that he will pay attention to them. You are not a victim. You are a self-sufficient girl who does not need the attention of her ex. Perhaps, looking at yourself from the position of the queen of this situation, you will understand that returning to the past is not the best fate for you. And remember, if he calls or writes, you do not need to jump around the room with joyful cries – let him think that you are fine without him.
DON’T RUSH IT
If a pause in your relationship occurred on his initiative, re-read the previous paragraph and understand that the man should take a break from you and miss you. If you find it difficult to contain yourself and not text him, put your phone aside and do something that will not leave you free time. By the way, dancing and sports will not only make you not think about your ex, but also make your figure fit and sexy.
Now you need to create a new self. Change your haircut, dye your hair in a color that you have not dared to for a long time, change the style. Do everything to make him understand – you are ready to meet a new love. The guy, if he still has feelings for you, will not remain indifferent.
When we go on vacation, our body realizes that something incredible is starting and increases the amount of endorphins. Resting, you immediately kill three birds with one stone – put in order the state of mind, temporarily leave the field of vision of the former young man and get a beautiful tan.
WRITE A LETTER
An old psychological method that still has no analogues. Write about what good happened to you, how grateful you are for it and … let go. If your former love does not return to you, you will be able to be grateful for the relationship and the willingness to start new ones. And if you come back, then together you will remember all the best moments.
These tips will help you start living anew, improve yourself and your mood, and understand what needs to be done to get it back to you.
IS HIS RETURN REALLY NECESSARY?
Give yourself time. The easiest thing is to rush into the pool with your head and use everything to return it, but this way it becomes possible to again make all the mistakes that you went through.
If your relationship was toxic – there was physical and psychological pressure on his part, in no case should you return to him. His words that he will change are heard every day by thousands of girls around the world. He will not change, such people never change. If you are tempted to return to the abuser, visit a psychologist, he will help you solve the problem and not “get stuck” in the same relationship.
If your day started or ended with tears, tantrums, quarrels, and accusations, don’t come back. It was not love – rather, a desire to feel acute emotions. You can feel adrenaline without a relationship – skydiving, diving, skiing.
As I said above, thousands of girls face the problem of abuse and not all can leave on time. Understand that by returning to a mentally unstable person, you endanger not only your psychological health, but also your physical health. This relationship will destroy you, your life, and your personality. You will lose your friends, loved ones will turn away, and you yourself will fall asleep and wake up with fear. I know this firsthand and advise from the bottom of my heart that such a relationship should not be returned.
WHAT CAN YOU DO TO GET HIM BACK?
If you have definitely decided that you only see him next to you, let’s discuss the moments that will help bring your ex-husband back.
STOP LIVING ON AUTOPILOT
People get used to being around a loved one and forget that they need to change. Routine consumes – home-study / work-cooking-dinner-sleep. Think back to the last time you were interested in something other than what groceries to buy home and what kind of skirt your hated colleague will wear today. Read an interesting book, go to the solarium – stop living life, live it.
Top models, despite their appearance, are of little interest to anyone in real life, but erudition, education, the ability to maintain a conversation and cook something other than borscht are much more appreciated. You should look neat (remove from your wardrobe the old stretched T-shirts that you use instead of home clothes) and you should have something to talk about.
INVEST IN RELATIONSHIPS
Relationships need to be worked on, even if everything seems to be fine. Men stop giving women flowers, women do not try to look good at home – the relationship of a loving couple turns into a relationship between neighbors. Work on the relationship and the relationship will be enjoyable.
FIND THE REASON WHY YOU BROKE UP
If it seems to you that all of the above does not concern you, try to understand why the gap occurred. Who was to blame for the coldness of the relationship and what to do to bring it back. Example: I like attention, he likes to sit at the computer. As a result, no one gets what they want, gets angry, and, instead of reaching a compromise, disagree.
The conclusions from this chapter are as follows, in order to regain and maintain a relationship, you need:
Take care of yourself (both externally and morally)
Engage in self-development
Appreciating your partner and working on the relationship
Don’t be silent about insults
Respect each other’s interests
Spend time together at least a couple of days a week
WHAT TO WRITE TO YOUR EX TO GET HIM BACK
If the breakup initiative came from you, you need to write first. Apologize, tell us why you came to this decision, that you miss and want to return everything. Give him time and do not press, remember that you must very delicately, but very authentically, talk about what problems led to the breakup.
Don’t appeal to his feelings. Do not blackmail, humiliate or humiliate, do not manipulate a man. Address not what he feels, but his personality, be polite and correct. No need to press and swear eternal love.